How Romantic Are You Really Supposed To Be In Bed?
RE Blogged from askmen.com
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For many of us, sex and romance
aren’t necessarily inextricably linked. Sex is fun, spontaneous and is in its own means
and ends. Then there’s the whole lovemaking side of things, where you and your partner are
essentially expressing your feelings for each other physically. You’re not always in the
mood for “feelings sex” — sometimes you just want to get it on. On the other hand, she
doesn’t always feel like having a little quick-n-dirty back alley-style sex. Hey —
relationships require compromise, and what you’re in the mood for is often not at all
mirrored by the desires of your partner. Here are some guidelines for striking the balance
in the long term between getting your physical desires met while also satisfying her need
for some romance in the sack.
Date night = romance
When you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, some of the magic inevitably starts
to wane. When this happens, the rest of your life starts finding it’s way back to the top
of your list of priorities. Projects at work you’ve been neglecting begin to take on new
importance, much to her chagrin. If you’re smart, you’ve already incorporated “date
night” into your relationship; a night where work, your friends and the entirety of
the outside world take a back seat to the wonderfulness that is your girlfriend or
wife. Date night is when you focus on romance. Doors are opened, roses
are purchased and pedestals are populated with that woman who is far too good for you. On
these nights, show her the tenderness that she remembers from that first week you started
seeing each other. Contrary to popular belief, women aren’t soul-crushing packages of
complete irrationality, but they do require a periodic relationship recharge.
Girls’ night out = sex
Your girlfriend has friends —
women you may or may not care for. Really, though, what do you care? She’s certainly
entitled to a little time to kick back with her girlfriends. In fact, on a night that she
has plans to go out without you, you are faced with the perfect opportunity for some
spontaneous sex. Women like it when you’re spontaneous and they like
feeling so attractive that you can’t keep your hands off of them. When she gets back from
the night on the town, take advantage of some detached, physical sex. She’s been out
listening to problems and aspirations of her friends, and will likely be in the mood to
get down. Be ready.
Holidays = romance
Women love the holidays. The world is, supposedly, filled with good cheer and the malls
are filled with good sales. The weather presents a perfect excuse to cuddle up on the
couch with you and a glass of wine. The holidays present
a perfect opportunity to reinvigorate your relationship and restore any fading romance. Try going ice skating. If you’re a good skater, all the better, but if
you’re a failure, the awkward flailing around will at least make her laugh (and laughter
is an absurdly cheap aphrodisiac).
Post-argument = sex
An argument is a supernova of passion, hurt emotions and feelings of strength. Both you
and your girlfriend are upset, hormones are raging and your blood pressure is up.
Basically, you’ve set yourselves up for a fight with no physical relief. Obviously, you’re
not going to fight, which means it is time for some lovin’. Sex,
especially physical, dirty sex, is a spectacular relief to that fight-or-flight mentality.
Make-up sex is legendary when it comes to relief and enjoyment. Obviously, you can’t spark
a fight just for the make-up sex, but you can absolutely take advantage of an organic
fight when it arises. Our final points on how to balance sex and romance…