How To Deal With Her Ex
RE Blogged from askmen.com
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So, you’ve met someone who’s great. You might end up in a relationship with her, but
there’s one problem: She’s best friends with her ex.
There’s always the possibility of baggage when you start dating someone new. A lot
of women come with bad friends, a lot of women come with a job they don’t like, but
there’s nothing more difficult for the male ego to deal with than a woman who comes with
her ex as a best friend.For some reason or another, a lot of men can’t fathom
that another man was sexually intimate with their woman. And it’s funny, too, because
women are very aware of this. Whenever you meet a woman who is really great friends with
her ex, she’ll usually tell you, “Hey, Max and I are like best friends. Our
relationship didn’t work out sexually at all, but we’re still such really good
friends.”She does it because she understands the male
ego and she knows that you’re going to be freaking out during the course of the
relationship. So, you try to play it really cool, all the while you’re thinking to
yourself, “I’m not friends with any of my exes. I wish they were all floating in the
middle of the ocean. I couldn’t care less about them.”You try to
play it cool, but as the relationship progresses, you slowly stop acting so cool about it.
You get into a fight, and she calls her ex to talk about it, because he just knows her
really, really well. You don’t want to get jealous, but it really bugs you when the
ex calls and she giggles to herself for the next five minutes because of something he
said. It starts to eat away at you more and more.
Befriend the enemy
So, what’s the solution? It’s easy. Befriend the enemy. I would get everybody
together for dinner and sit face to face with the man who once put his penis inside my
girl. Look at him and treat him as you would any other guy. Get to know him a little bit.
When you’re in the presence of your girl and her ex, you’ll see the dynamic
between them and realize that there’s nothing left. There should be no sexual energy
or sexual chemistry between them at all. In fact, I just look at him as a furry girlfriend
of hers.That’s it. He’s just another friend of hers. At the end of the
night, shake hands, befriend him on Facebook, whatever. But be cool.You’ve got
to deal with it, guys. Now, don’t forget — we’re talking about the ex she’s “just
friends” with. There are the exes out there we can put an asterisk next to: the ex they
still have feelings for. Those are the ones that you’ve got to nip in the bud from
the get-go, gentlemen.If she’s friends with the ex and you all go out
together and you see no sexual chemistry, then you’re fine. But if you go out with her and
she’s always talking about the ex, then she obviously still has feelings for him.
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Bring It Up With Her, Not Him
And that is something that you need to deal with — but not with him, with her.
You’ve got to admit it: You picked wrong. You picked the wrong woman because you
weren’t listening to the warning signs right from the beginning. The problem most people
face when dating is becoming too attached too quickly and not paying attention to the
signs. We tend to have the blinders on: “Oh, my God, she’s absolutely perfect for
me.” Yeah, but she talks about her ex constantly, and she’s always complaining about
the girl that he’s dating. You’ve got to open up your eyes, guys.
You need to sit her down and say, “Listen, I don’t think you’re over him at
all.” You need to confront her and you need to listen really carefully when she
responds. Pay attention to her body
language and the words she uses. Do what you should have done in the beginning of the
relationship — pay attention. If it seems like she’s not over her past
relationship, then your new relationship is going nowhere and you need to deal with that
like an adult. Dealing with a woman who has an ex in her life is not rocket
science, but it takes a lot of awareness and maturity. Cultivate the virtues necessary to
handle this like a man, and you separate yourself from the boys at home in unsatisfying
relationships who are crying about their woman and her furry friend.