How To Start A Conversation (Without Being Creepy)
RE Blogged from askmen.com
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You may have seen our AskWomen
video series, where we got some real women to have some drinks and answer your questions
about whether a guy can ever get
out of the friend zone, whether size matters and whether body hair is a deal breaker. Well,
here’s a single girl’s opinion on more of your questions. Readers have been kept
anonymous.Q: What is the best way to approach and talk to
women? I mean, on public transport, at a shopping center, at a club/event, when she is
with her friends, etc.?A: Let me preface this by saying that while I
fully expect to be skewered again for not fully answering the question at hand, perhaps
one might consider that the questions being asked here don’t ever have definitive,
universal answers. Much like queries involving the meaning of life and reality of soul
mates, this is pretty person-specific. Here is this person’s answer:The
cold, hard truth of the matter is that a woman’s reaction to your approach varies
wildly depending on how attractive she finds you. (No. 1 recommendation? Check out these
10
proven ways to improve your attractiveness.) Unless you have a special psychic sense
that allows you intuit her personality, you’re picking her up because of her looks. What
most guys don’t realize is that she’s judging you the same way. If she thinks you’re
super hot, your bad joke will probably go over way better than if she doesn’t.That being said, it is, of course, still important to engage a girl right off the
bat. In my opinion, the best way to do this is to incorporate one or both of the
following: humor and context. That is, be funny, and try not to be totally random. Humor
is in the ear of the beholder, but context is pretty easy to explain. For example, if
you’re shopping at Trader Joe’s, and you see an attractive female picking up a
bag of Party Meatballs, you could casually stroll up to her and say something relating to
how often you party hard with those meatballs and your friends Franklin and Bash, the
renegade lawyers who practice law on their own terms on the USA Network. (For the record,
I would find this totally charming and hilarious, but I love both Party Meatballs and the
character development on USA).The point is that whatever you say, it helps if
it’s relevant to the situation you both find yourselves in. Women will appreciate that you
pay enough attention to draw some parallel between the two of you, as opposed to a
completely random statement that could essentially be directed at any girl in the world.
By providing context, you’re creating a shared moment, and that is much more likely
to engage her. So whether it’s about the song playing on the jukebox or her really
awesome band T-shirt or her choice in toppings at the self-serve fro-yo place, commenting
on your shared surroundings in a humorous way is the best way to go about it. What’s also a pretty solid no-fail tactic is if you ask her a question with an
“either/or” option, a question she’ll be forced to give an answer to, and then — no
matter what her answer — disagree with her. Never ask “yes” or “no” questions; you’re
just giving her an excuse to bow out. But something like, “My friends and I were just
discussing something. What do you think: Harry Potter or Lord of The
Rings?” And no matter what she says, shake your head and look puzzled, like she gave
the wrong answer. It’ll spark discussion and annoy her just enough to keep her in the
conversation. It might not always work, but it’s for sure the
least creepy approach. (For the record, commenting on how hot she is — that’s
usually creepy and not awesome. Don’t do it.)