How To Tell If She’s Faking It
RE Blogged from askmen.com
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OK, guys, think your wife or girlfriend isn’t faking it? Or
that faking only happens in other people’s bedrooms? Think again. According to the
recently published National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 85% of men said that
their partner had experienced an orgasm during their most recent sexual event, while only
64% of women reported actually having had an orgasm. The implication: Lots of women are
faking it — and getting away with it.
why women fake orgasms
“Find me a women’s magazine whose cover doesn’t include screaming
headlines about the 764 varieties of orgasm every woman is supposed to be having each time
she has sex,” writes my colleague Emily Nagoski in the Good in Bed Guide to Female
Orgasms. “In reality, life gets in the way: stress, depression, anxiety, body
image, performance anxiety (women get it too), sleep deprivation, feeling rushed (women
take, on average, 10 to 30 minutes to orgasm) — all interfere with orgasm. So sometimes
women fake it.”
recognize the real thing
The best way to tell if a woman is faking
orgasms is to know how to recognize the real thing. Signs of arousal become visible
throughout the process of sexual response, particularly during the pre-orgasm phase.So what are these signs? How can you tell when she’s close to orgasm?
Throughout the ages, wise men have reflected upon this question, and in The Tao of
Love and Sex, author Jolan Chang offers us the “indications of female
arousal,” as laid out by Taoist master Wu Hsien:“Her hands are hot
and her abdomen warm, and at the same time her language becomes almost unintelligible. Her
expression looks as though she is bewitched, her body is soft as jelly and her limbs are
droopy. The saliva under her tongue has been sucked dry.”Well, OK,
though today’s man might not notice if “the saliva under her tongue has been
sucked dry,” he is apt to observe:• An increase
in the pace of her breathing• An increase in body temperature
and heart rate• A high state of tension in her muscles
(hypertonicity)• A tightening of the abdominal muscles• A throbbing of her PC muscles and a general “bearing
down” on the pelvic areaAs she releases sexual tension through orgasm,
her vagina and uterus will contract, on average, 10 to 15 times, with each contraction
lasting approximately 8/10ths of a second. Her rectal sphincter contracts anywhere from
two to five times, as well. Attendant to these genital and rectal contractions is the
tensing and releasing, in spasm, of many of the muscles throughout her body, including
arms, legs, neck, and face. Even her toes will bend and arch forward.
recognize she’s faking it
While many women can duplicate the characteristics of orgasm, including the contractions
of the PC muscles, it’s unlikely she could manufacture 8 to 10 of these contractions
in less than 20 seconds, especially in combination with all the other visible
characteristics.But, in truth, most women know that when faking it, they
needn’t bother portraying a convincing facsimile of the real thing, when they can
simply offer up a porn-inspired performance of those characteristics that are most likely
to fool and please men: lots of sound and fury, which, in the end, is nothing more than
smoke and mirrors. It’s the screamers and the thrashers who are very often the
fakers. At Good in Bed, we
know that that an orgasm doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s the final
exclamation point on a sentence that you’ve been writing all along. If the final
flourish feels unearned or out of the blue, then it likely is.